I think modern day technology is pretty amazing.
Especially in regards to pregnancy Ultrasounds.
The ability to "see" your baby while it is still cozy in your womb is amazing to me.
And while I'm sure most all women look forward to their Ultrasounds, particularly the 18-20 week one, where the baby's gender is usually detected, I think there may be a bit more anticipation involved when you have multiple children of the same gender. (correct me if I'm wrong, just my opinion).
And I find it equally fascinating Women who are able to wait until delivery day to find out.
I am certain it is one of life's greatest surprises, but one that I just can't wait for. Sheesh! I can't even wait until Christmas morning to open the results. An option many preggos due around the same time as me are going with.
As much as I want to get some Holiday shopping done, my body is not yet ready from this weekend's sickness, so today, I decided to stay home again and do Christmas cards. Problem is, I can't stop thinking about tomorrow.
While talking to my Mother last night, she asked,
"Now, Anne-Marie, you're not going to be disappointed if it's another Boy are you?"
I immediately felt a little defensive, but seeing that she delivered SIX boys in a row (my beautiful twin sisters are adopted, but are my heart no doubt, I speak only biologically) before delivering me, her last and final child, I figured she had some validity to her question.
Would I like a Girl?
Well, that's simple.
Yes.
I think most Women would like a daughter, but speaking from a spiritual perspective, I have always felt intrinsically and without a doubt, that I WILL have a daughter one day. So, if she came now, that may relieve some of the child-bearing pressure off my ovaries.
That being said, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I will bear the spirit that I am indeed suppose to bear.
And for that, I am eternally grateful. And anxious to know what color the nursery is to be painted for that little spirit.
Today, I am taken back to the Spring of last year (that seems so weird), when I entered the same room for my 18 week ultrasound of Baby #3. Lucas was in a breech position and was sitting Indian style covering the parts we were so anxious to see. After 45 minutes of searching and prodding the little guy to move for us, they told me we would need to reschedule in another four weeks! They might as well have told me I was to be sentenced to death! OK, that's my inner drama Queen coming out, but it felt unbearable. So, Hank left and said he would go pull the car out front of the hospital and wait for me. As he left the room, another Ultrasound tech came in and said, "let me give this a quick try". And within minutes, got the shot we wanted.
It was indeed another Boy.
I held back the tears for fear that the Women in the room would judge me.
I'm sure they have seen many losses and tragedies on that same table I was lying on and how selfish of me to cry.
I met Hank at the car and showed him the picture and said,
"It's a Boy-Are you happy?!"
Even recalling this experience makes me feel so silly.
Little did I know that only nine weeks later, mine and my baby's life would be in danger for an emergency appendectomy & cholecystectomy was to be performed on my protruding, pregnant belly. (picture above was taken a few weeks after that surgery with Lucas)
After that surgery, I felt so bonded and close to that baby that I would have felt devastated if I had found out he was actually a Girl.
And to this day, Lucas is the light of our life.
He truly radiates this joy that is so good for my soul, that I could just bathe in it.
I am madly in love with each of my Boys.
They are the center of my world.
And because I know this, I also know that gender is really so insignificant.
I also am blessed with the reassurance that this baby is very much meant to be in our family.
And like a dear friend of mine said last year on the eve of her big Ultrasound,
".....I'm just glad that I don't have to make the choice."
Amen.
That one is up to the Lord.
**In relation to the poll, just thought I'd make it known that 3 of the 6 votes for BOY, were from Me, Hank & my Mom. I think I am indeed carrying another Boy. And how fun for Lucas that would be. Only 20 months apart and a grade apart in School. But, we'll just have to see...Oh, and I welcome any and all congratulatory comments tomorrow!(I will post the results as soon as I can) Comments that are NOT welcome are those of a patronizing nature. I received several of those on Boy #3 and they irk me so. One past neighbor of mine actually said, "Oh, that sucks!" upon hearing the gender news. No, it indeed does not suck. Raising Sons is a privilege. And I would get to keep my reigning title of Princess supreme in the house. Until Lil' Miss knocks me off my throne one day.